The moment your child is born, life changes forever. It’s not a gradual process, it’s not something that happens overnight or further down the line…..in that split second that your baby comes crashing in to the world, everything changes. And it’s not just the day-to-day stuff that gets turned around, upside down and inside out, it’s the fundamental change that takes place within you as a person, the one that alters the course of life and takes you down a totally new path, one that’s considerably different to the one you walked as a childless young woman, free of responsibilities.
Motherhood in all its forms is quite simply a beautiful thing. It’s rewarding and fulfilling and one of the most incredible journeys i’ve ever encountered. I love my boys more than anything and i wouldn’t change my life for the world but there are times when i feel that becoming a mother has changed me so much that i’ve lost sight of the person i was before they came along. Everything i do is for them and i’m happy with that, i adore being their mummy, but i’m also ‘me’ and i’ve realised that i just don’t take time out for ‘me’ anymore.
To be honest, i’ve always been rubbish at making myself relax and switch off. Anyone who knows me will tell you that i’m permanently attached to my iPhone or iPad checking Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Mr B works away all week so i spend all day running around after my crazy pair and even when they’re in bed for the night i can’t shut down – if i’m not doing normal mummy things like washing, ironing, tidying toys etc. i’m blogging/working away until the early hours of the morning. Personally i find blogging is a sense of release and kind of therapeutic to a certain extent but i still don’t take the time to completely shut myself off from everything. I think as mothers we constantly put pressure on ourselves and trick our brains in to thinking that we need to be constantly busy, otherwise we’re somehow failing at motherhood which of course is utter nonsense, but we all have moments of feeling that way. I do at least.
I think i need to re-educate my brain to accept that it’s ok to do nothing and take some ‘Me-Time’ to indulge my own needs, likes and interests.
Pre-motherhood, the family bathroom used to be my sanctuary. A space to retreat to after a long day at work for a well-earned soak or a quick pamper pick-me-up. I say ‘used to be’ as since having children, a long soak in the tub has become a thing of the past. I’ve grown accustomed to sharing the bath with some rubber duckies and having an audience of toys watching attentively as i attempt to relax. I recognise that ‘sinking feeling’ when i go to wash my hair and realise the contents of my shampoo bottle have been replaced with dirty bath water. But it’s still my ‘happy place’ to sneak off to when i need a short break from motherhood and i’m not alone, a recent survey revealed that 83% of parents resort to the bathroom for a few minutes peace and quiet.
The team at ukBathrooms.com conducted the study as part of ongoing research in to how Britons interact with different rooms within their homes. All those who stated they love their bathroom as it allows peace and quiet were asked to expand on this. The most common responses were ‘no one disturbs you when you’re in the bathroom’ (32%) and ‘Having a bath is a luxury reserved for when the children are asleep and the house is quiet’ (31%).
I can totally relate to both of these responses and it’s made me realise that i need to reclaim the bathroom for myself and get back to those long, relaxing soaks in the bath. Get some much needed ‘me’ time. That room was my space long before the boys arrived and somewhere……SOMEWHERE……buried deep beneath a sea of plastic toys, sits a serene bathtub, some spa products, a couple of candles and memories of my life before children.
Here’s to a future of bubble baths (free from children, toys and dirt) and some much needed ‘me’ time!