Finding ‘Me’ Again

The moment your child is born, life changes forever. It’s not a gradual process, it’s not something that happens overnight or further down the line… that split second that your baby comes crashing in to the world, everything changes. And it’s not just the day-to-day stuff that gets turned around, upside down and inside out, it’s the fundamental change that takes place within you as a person, the one that alters the course of life and takes you down a totally new path, one that’s considerably different to the one you walked as a childless young woman, free of responsibilities.

Motherhood in all its forms is quite simply a beautiful thing. It’s rewarding and fulfilling and one of the most incredible journeys i’ve ever encountered. I love my boys more than anything and i wouldn’t change my life for the world but there are times when i feel that becoming a mother has changed me so much that i’ve lost sight of the person i was before they came along. Everything i do is for them and i’m happy with that, i adore being their mummy, but i’m also ‘me’ and i’ve realised that i just don’t take time out for ‘me’ anymore.

To be honest, i’ve always been rubbish at making myself relax and switch off. Anyone who knows me will tell you that i’m permanently attached to my iPhone or iPad checking Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Mr B works away all week so i spend all day running around after my crazy pair and even when they’re in bed for the night i can’t shut down – if i’m not doing normal mummy things like washing, ironing, tidying toys etc. i’m blogging/working away until the early hours of the morning. Personally i find blogging is a sense of release and kind of therapeutic to a certain extent but i still don’t take the time to completely shut myself off from everything. I think as mothers we constantly put pressure on ourselves and trick our brains in to thinking that we need to be constantly busy, otherwise we’re somehow failing at motherhood which of course is utter nonsense, but we all have moments of feeling that way. I do at least.

I think i need to re-educate my brain to accept that it’s ok to do nothing and take some ‘Me-Time’ to indulge my own needs, likes and interests.

The first being my secret love affair with coffee (and the occasional slice of cake). With the every day distractions that the boys present me with it’s been a while since i drank a whole cup of coffee in peace that wasn’t  a) stone cold b) mixed with baby milk instead of cows milk and c) put in the highest of places to prevent wandering little hands from touching it but then completely forgotten about until it was a) stone cold!

So, earlier this month i made the spontaneous decision to treat myself to a shiny new nespresso coffee machine, which is heaven enough in itself but then i discovered Caffe Cagliari, a 100 year old Italian family company who specialise in nespresso compatible coffee capsules. Let’s just say i haven’t looked back since. They have 5 varieties to choose from, each offering it’s own unique blend of ingredients, rich flavours and intense aromas and they’re such fantastic value for money compared to the standard Nespresso capsules.

There’s something very comforting and relaxing now about taking a few moments to myself every now and again to sit down in the silence with a cup of hot coffee, some naughty nibbles and just do nothing. It’s getting that much use, i’m worried i’ll be in need of a coffee machine repair before long.

I don’t feel guilty for wasting time, instead i relish in the fact that i’m taking some much needed ‘Me-Time’ and i deserve it.

A part of me has been restored and I feel like the mother in me has been improved.

I’m finding ‘me’ again.




  1. 28 May, 2014 / 9:18 am

    I completely agree with this post! Although I love being a Mum and wouldn’t want to change it, there are times when I just need to be me. Not that it happens often, however, I love to jump in a nice hot bath from time to time and just switch off from everything for an hour!
    Mummy of Two recently posted…C is for… #alphabetphotoMy Profile

  2. 28 May, 2014 / 9:32 am

    Oh my I could have written this post myself, apart from that fact that I hate coffee! 🙂 I never do a single thing just for me and I really should xxx
    You Baby Me Mummy recently posted…Blogging as therapyMy Profile

  3. Jane McColl
    28 May, 2014 / 9:32 am

    Brilliant post, I’m sure many of us can relate to this. I love being a mum and I wouldn’t change it for the world…. but when I had PND I did find myself grieving for parts of my old life that I lost when I became a mum. I started to feel that I was just a mum and nothing else and I had lost who I was. As my child has got a little older and is a little less demanding I have found that parts of the old me have started to come back…. a major part of that is learning that you should not feel guilty for wanting a bit of me time, having that me time makes you a healthier and happier mum in the long run and that benefits everyone!

  4. 28 May, 2014 / 3:32 pm

    Wonderful post-I can totally relate to this! I am trying very hard to take time for myself and class blogging as that time. Cake and coffee…mmm..

  5. Lisa Prince (@BEAUTY_IIAO)
    28 May, 2014 / 4:10 pm

    it was only two days ago i was saying exactly the same thing, becoming a mum to 7 from having only 3 in a short time last year i have slowely but surely seen my personality, patience, and any other inner self dissapear , we fight thru it for the kids but it is hard and i know what you mean hun x

  6. Donna
    28 May, 2014 / 5:40 pm

    I’m not keen on coffee at all – Although I love the smell! Hubby has a fancy coffee machine and makes lovely looking coffees but I’m happy with a cup of tea! x
    Donna recently posted…What happens when you stop breastfeeding?My Profile

  7. 28 May, 2014 / 7:21 pm

    Replace coffee with tea and I agree with you all the way. We, as mothers, need to learn to take time out for ourselves.
    Louisa recently posted…Feeling flabby at 40My Profile

  8. 28 May, 2014 / 8:51 pm

    Swap the coffee for a hot chocolate and I’m with you.
    Jenny recently posted…How to dye pastaMy Profile

  9. 29 May, 2014 / 6:12 pm

    All so true! Altho i agree with ‘you baby me mummy’ about the coffee ;-). One of the reasons I started my blog was to have something of my own (even if it totally revolves around my family!! Lol)
    glad you are finding a bit more of you 🙂
    katy recently posted…Being a stay at home mummyMy Profile

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