A Step Back

It’s been a little quiet around this neck of the woods lately, so i wanted to let you all know why, even though i’m probably flattering myself to think that you’d even noticed my absence..

Those that follow me on Facebook or Twitter will know that we moved house a couple of weeks ago (we’re now living next door to my mum which is pretty awesome!) and whilst i had intended to blog as normal throughout the process, due to a monumental ‘cock up’ by BT i was left without a working phone line or broadband and consequently cut off from the cyber world.

During this time, it dawned on me just how much time i usually dedicate to blogging and social media and though the first few days were torture, by the time i was ‘reconnected’ i found myself completely uninspired and with no real urge or desire to blog. Blogging suddenly felt like a chore and something i had to do rather than something i loved and wanted to do.

And i realised……too much of a good thing can generally become a bad thing.

Like eating chocolate. And dipping your fingers in the sweetie jar. And hitting the gym. And watching YouTube videos of people that you’ll never actually meet.

It is also true of writing blog posts and twittering and Facebook stalking.

Because I’ve seen Mr B go to bed resentful.  I’ve heard Riley calling for mummy again, and again, only to hear me say, “Hold on, i’m almost done.”  I’ve had Harry tug at my trousers to get my attention only to find himself turned away and distracted with the TV or a toy. I’ve ignored dishes that should have been cleaned and dinners that got overcooked, and i’ve sacrificed sleep, only to be irritable the next day.

All for the pursuit of connection with a virtual community, more visits to my site, recognition from other bloggers, opportunities from brands and a louder applause from my Facebook insights or monthly stats.

And a good thing, then quickly morphs into too much.

My main problem is time, or really the lack of it. Mr B works away all week and is only home at the weekends, so the boys and i pretty much go it alone. Blogging is something that is usually done in the evenings when they’re in bed, but some posts take longer than others and i’ve been struggling to keep up with 3-4 posts a week while looking after the boys, managing a house move, juggling the housework, dealing with my CFS symptoms and holding on to my sanity. At some point, something has to give.

And the last couple of weeks, it has, blogging and social media. I’ve not written a single post, i haven’t checked my stats, i can’t remember the last time i was on Twitter, i’ve been less active on Instagram and i’ve barely used my Facebook account.

And you know what? I don’t feel guilty for it, in fact it feels pretty bloody good!

The boys and i have been for evening strolls along the country lanes, we’ve walked over to Nanny’s stables to feed carrots to the horse, we’ve had longer bathtimes and more bedtime stories. We’ve witnessed Harry learn to crawl, stand up and cruise all in a matter of days. We’ve had late night bbqs in the garden, watered the flowers and built dens. I’ve done more for me too and i’ve loved every single second of it.

I have accepted that i simply can’t do everything and i shouldn’t try to either.

I have accepted that i am never going to be a full time blogger and i’m not obligated to whip out posts on a consistent basis if i don’t feel like doing it.

I have accepted that the moment when something you love, look forward to or feel passionate about feels like a chore – it’s time to take a step back and give yourself a break. Stay away from writing blogs. Give yourself time to appreciate the blogging community and your place within it. Take some ‘Me’ time outside of your blog.

That’s exactly what i’ve done and it was the necessary reset i needed to come back with a BANG.

The beauty of blogging and being apart of this community, is the fact that everything written, is out there for always. Everything i think i have missed the past couple of weeks is still there waiting for me to see.

So, to my loyal readers – thanks for sticking around and bearing with me. To my favourite bloggers and usual ‘daily reads’ – i will be round to catch up and comment on all of your lovely blogs this week.

taking time to do nothing often brings everything into perspective

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31 Comments

  1. Donna
    14 July, 2014 / 12:22 am

    I noticed you weren’t around but knew that you were moving house. It must be lovely to have some time out and I’m glad you’re enjoying it. I’ll still be reading your posts as and when you write them x
    Donna recently posted…Review: All The Families BookMy Profile

  2. 14 July, 2014 / 7:47 am

    It must have been a nightmare at first not having the internet, but I totally agree with you. It is a great idea sometimes to have a break – you can’t believe how much time you have on your hands. I have decided to blog less frequently too, and just do it when I am inspired.
    mellissa williams recently posted…What’s Your Summer Personality?My Profile

  3. 14 July, 2014 / 10:17 am

    Missed you! But you’re right, sometimes we just need to take a step back from social media and blogging. I’ve realised its okay if i don’t post one day now and I’m actually going to bed earlier too instead of staying up until 2/3am blogging xx
    Kerry recently posted…Surviving PregnancyMy Profile

  4. 14 July, 2014 / 10:49 am

    I only blog when I want to and when I feel I have something I want to write about. Good for you for taking a step back and enjoying precious time with your family.
    Ness (@jibberjabberuk) recently posted…Rocket pestoMy Profile

  5. Katie @mummydaddyme
    14 July, 2014 / 4:38 pm

    A great post Vikki and something I have been thinking a lot about recently. I think we have all been guilty of saying ‘Just a minute’ while checking social media instead of giving our children our full attention- I know I have. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the blogging world but recently I have been thinking a lot about taking a step back.
    On holiday I didn’t pick up my phone other than to do the odd instagram pic, I didn’t tweet, look at any replies, or check my emails. It felt amazing to switch off and it has made me determined to do it more. Just leave the camera and phone at home and realise that not everything has to be blogged.

    I am lucky that my children snooze for most of the afternoon so I can go on the laptop but when that no longer happens I know for a fact I won’t be on social media as much. I don’t want to miss out and I am trying to take a step back more too. Including having weekly no technology date nights like we used too.

    It’s all about finding a balance. Thanks for writing this. xx
    Katie @mummydaddyme recently posted…Our Holiday to Rhodes- Part One.My Profile

  6. 14 July, 2014 / 4:53 pm

    Blogging is so addictive, but sometimes you take a step back and realise it has taken over – I had a moment like that recently and am now back to blogging like I did in the early days – posting what I want when I want and stuff the stats – it has felt utterly liberating and has made me fall in love with blogging and my real life all over again!
    Sonya Cisco recently posted…An aghast Cathedral and other adventures.My Profile

  7. 14 July, 2014 / 5:30 pm

    How lovely to reconnect as a family. I think a break is always a good thing and I will be switching off for the summer break. It will all still be there afterwards!
    Emma recently posted…Swinging through the tree’s at Go Ape.My Profile

  8. Natalie
    14 July, 2014 / 6:09 pm

    @mummydaddyme @lovefrommummy completely feel the same. Finding the right balance is the hardest part. But you’re right, simplifying life is the easiest step. X

  9. 14 July, 2014 / 8:33 pm

    This a really lovely honest post! I have been thinking about taking a little time out myself. I feel that as my blog has got bigger ive spent more time on it but that time is now eating into tome with my little boy. He starts school in september and he is growing so fast! I think im just going to take a week or so away from the blog during the summer holidays just to spend time with him!! x
    Jess Howliston recently posted…Becky and Lolo Toddler Backpack **REVIEW**My Profile

  10. 14 July, 2014 / 8:58 pm

    I’ve been feeling like this too, and also stepping back accordingly. Over the last year I’ve stepped back the regularity of my posts and in the last six months I’ve focused on only blogging when I really want to, and have massively stepped back from twitter. It’s amazing how “noisy” it can all make your head feel, and how beautifully quiet life becomes when you walk away from it a bit. We have days when we just totally abandon the tech in this house, and they are the best days. I love blogging and what it’s given me, but I love my life and my family more. It seems like you’ve had a good little reset and reprioritised, which is fantastic. x
    Lucy DearBeautiful recently posted…a walk down memory laneMy Profile

  11. 14 July, 2014 / 9:27 pm

    I totally understand where you are coming from. I have not blogged much recently, life has been too busy. Although I didn’t miss it I was surprised how frustrated I was when my internet was playing up today. I just can’t seem to get the balance right.
    Louisa recently posted…A sunny day for a town carnivalMy Profile

  12. 14 July, 2014 / 9:53 pm

    Such a good post – and so spot on. This is how I am feeling right now… before November I only blogged for me, and loved it. But I do enjoy growing my audience and wish I could do that without trying to compete etc? Need to take a step back, but this will inevitably happen with the summer hols upon us 🙂
    Kate Thompson recently posted…Impaired Executive Functioning – time to ditch the briefcase?My Profile

  13. 14 July, 2014 / 10:16 pm

    I agree, family comes first! I struggle with the same thing. To keep my son first and blogging after that. But sometimes there is something you need to do just now… I try to limit that just now to minimum, though.

  14. 14 July, 2014 / 10:30 pm

    Congratulations on the move. I hope you’re all settled now and it must be lovely to be so close to family.
    Emma (My Little 3 and Me) recently posted…My Window ViewMy Profile

  15. Zena's Suitcase
    15 July, 2014 / 6:55 am

    I think it’s healthy to take a break from things and get some perspective. I know I’m a bit guilty of getting lost in blogging! Welcome back 🙂
    Zena’s Suitcase recently posted…6 Tips For Preparing Dad’s For BreastfeedingMy Profile

  16. 15 July, 2014 / 5:40 pm

    I know what you mean. A break now and again is a good thing indeed. Blogging is quite a time consuming business. I’m glad that you have enjoyed your time with your family and that you have moved next to your Mum.

  17. 15 July, 2014 / 8:36 pm

    I can imagine that it was a nightmare at first but blogging deffo takes over from things, whether its writing a post, reading and leaving comments on being active on social media, it all takes up a lot of time, so I don’t blame you for not feeling guilty, why should you? It’s your blog! Don’t put pressure on yourself and enjoy doing other stuff too x
    Julie recently posted…Eucerin DermatoCLEAN Micellar Cleansing Fluid!My Profile

  18. 16 July, 2014 / 12:08 am

    This is a blogging reset I so desperately need. There was a particular paragraph above that could have been written by me.
    All my self worth, validation, ego, need for praise, is all wrapped up in my blog, and frequently it does not deliver. I really need to step away from it, and am always happier when I do.
    This post is so very beautifully written, and you speak for a lot of us. Thank you.
    Liska x
    @NewMumOnline
    Liska @NewMumOnline recently posted…Britain Find Your Voice – #UnMuteUKMy Profile

  19. 16 July, 2014 / 12:25 am

    I could have written this post! I lost my blogging mojo a while back and I tried to keep posting but last week I just couldn’t be bothered. I’ve only done the posts I’d promised (a review) and one I wanted to, which was my birthday post. I like to be able to look back on posts like that 🙂
    I feel guilty always being on the laptop when the kids need me and I have to make a change. I don’t want them looking back on their childhood and the main thing they remember about me is that I was always ‘too busy on the computer’.
    Shell Louise recently posted…RhinoShield ReviewMy Profile

  20. 16 July, 2014 / 8:44 am

    I don’t think it hurts to have a mini blogging break, it gives you time to rethink and refresh things xxx

  21. 16 July, 2014 / 9:04 am

    Vikki! I wondered where you had gone! I love this post, I can feel me doing exactly the same thing very soon. Sometimes its great to take a step back. Xx
    Sammie Hodges recently posted…The mini me and IMy Profile

  22. 16 July, 2014 / 10:20 am

    I completely identify with your dilemma. There are times when blogging does seem to swamp me, when I forget why I started blogging in the first place. The need to succeed is fierce, especially as I am just starting out. But then I think about it, if I don’t spend time with my boys, I really will have nothing to blog about. All about finding the right balance, then. x
    VaiChin @RamblingThroughParenthood recently posted…VegfestUK London 2014 Tickets GiveawayMy Profile

  23. 16 July, 2014 / 8:26 pm

    I so hear you……I almost had palpitations when my broadband was out earlier and they advised it would be off all day……we had a fabulous day out instead!!
    Kara recently posted…Frugi Nursing Maxi DressMy Profile

  24. 17 July, 2014 / 7:48 am

    Such a great post I often struggle with meeting my own deadlines or balancing the home life with blogging so know what you mean. The other day my phone died and I’d left my charger at my parents at it felt so weird not being able to connect online! I think there is definitely rom for a blogging holiday soon and taking some time away from it. x
    Lori recently posted…TOP TIPS ON TRAVELLING LIGHTMy Profile

  25. 17 July, 2014 / 4:59 pm

    Sometimes its good to be forced to take a step back just so that you can get your life back in order again.We do get caught up in the virtual world too often and miss out on some important times with family.
    Nayna Kanabar (@SIMPLYF00D) recently posted…Cheats Chocolate MousseMy Profile

  26. 18 July, 2014 / 11:06 am

    Sometimes it is good just to step back . Blogging will always be there, I think sometimes we get too caught up with it all. Great posts x
    wendy recently posted…Goodbye Dark CloudsMy Profile

  27. 18 July, 2014 / 3:13 pm

    this post really resonates with me! I have to admit I’ve not found the right balance quid yet x

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