Hello

Hello,

It’s been a little quiet around this neck of the woods lately, i haven’t been on social media and i haven’t blogged consistently for a month or two. I can’t say i have missed it. Not in an “i’ve fallen out with blogging” kind of way, but more of a “wowsers, life is pretty hectic” kind of way. So i wanted to let you all know why, even though i’m probably flattering myself to think that you’d even noticed.

I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS). It’s not something i often talk about and to the outside world i can look perfectly normal, but CFS causes persistent mental and physical fatigue (exhaustion) that affects all aspects of everyday life. Fatigue that doesn’t go away with sleep or rest. Throw a couple of kids into the mix and it’s quite the deadly concoction. I’ve lived with the condition for 13 years now and though i manage the symptoms pretty well most of the time, it has a habit of creeping up on me when i least expect it and totally knocking me for six. Which is exactly what’s happened over the last 8 weeks or so and is the main reason for my absence. Sometimes you just have to take a step back from everything, re-evaluate and have some time to yourself.

During this time, it dawned on me just how much time i usually dedicate to blogging and social media and though the first few days were torture, by the time i was feeling more up to things, i found myself completely uninspired and with no real urge or desire to blog. Blogging suddenly felt like a chore and something i had to do rather than something i loved and wanted to do.

And i realised……too much of a good thing can generally become a bad thing.

Like eating chocolate. And dipping your fingers in the sweetie jar. And hitting the gym. And watching YouTube videos of people that you’ll never actually meet.

It is also true of writing blog posts and twittering and Insta-snapping and Facebook stalking.

Because I’ve seen Mr B go to bed resentful.  I’ve heard Riley calling for mummy again, and again, only to hear me say, “Hold on, i’m almost done.”  I’ve had Harry tug at my trousers to get my attention only to find himself turned away and distracted with the TV or a toy. I’ve ignored dishes that should have been cleaned and dinners that got overcooked, and i’ve sacrificed sleep, only to be irritable the next day.

All for the pursuit of connection with a virtual community, more visits to my site, recognition from other bloggers, opportunities from brands and a louder applause from my Facebook insights or monthly stats.

And a good thing, then quickly morphs into too much.

My main problem is time, or really the lack of it. Mr B works away all week and is only home at the weekends, so the boys and i pretty much go it alone. Blogging is something that is usually done in the evenings when they’re in bed, but some posts take longer than others and i’ve been struggling to keep up with blogging and social media while looking after the boys, juggling the housework, dealing with my CFS symptoms and holding on to my sanity. At some point, something has to give.

And the last few weeks, it has, blogging and social media. I’ve not written a single post, i haven’t checked my stats, i can’t remember the last time i was on Instagram, i’ve been less active on Twitter and i’ve barely used my Facebook account.

And you know what? I don’t feel guilty for it, in fact it feels pretty bloody good!

The boys and i have been for evening strolls along the country lanes, we’ve walked over to Nanny’s stables to feed carrots to the horse, we’ve had longer bathtimes and more bedtime stories. We’ve witnessed Riley learn to ride his balance bike. We’ve had late night bbqs in the garden, built sandcastles, made mudpies, watered the flowers and constructed dens. I’ve done more for me too and i’ve loved every single second of it.

I have accepted that i simply can’t do everything and i shouldn’t try to either.

I have accepted that i am never going to be a full time blogger and i’m not obligated to whip out posts on a consistent basis if i don’t feel like doing it.

I have accepted that the moment when something you love, look forward to or feel passionate about feels like a chore – it’s time to take a step back and give yourself a break. Stay away from writing blogs. Give yourself time to appreciate the blogging community and your place within it. Take some ‘Me’ time outside of your blog.

That’s exactly what i’ve done and it was the necessary reset i needed to come back with a BANG. I’m feeling inspired and have so much to tell you all about.

The beauty of blogging and being apart of this community, is the fact that everything written, is out there for always. Everything i think i have missed the past month or so is still there waiting for me to see.

So, to my loyal readers (and social media followers!) – thanks for sticking around and bearing with me. To my favourite bloggers and usual ‘daily reads’ – i will be round to catch up and comment on all of your lovely blogs as soon as i can.

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Lots of love, Vikki xxx

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18 Comments

  1. Donna
    29 September, 2015 / 9:04 pm

    Thinking of you lovely. Always here when you do write. I’ve been reading about Hollybobs CFS condition and I feel for you – and her – it can’t be easy, especially with children in the mix. Lots of love x

  2. El
    30 September, 2015 / 1:03 am

    Thank you for sharing such a lovely post about trying to juggle it all. You are right, it is important to have “Me” too and not feel guilty about it. So true “too much of a good thing” – it’s all about finding balance. And mine will probably not be the same as yours and that’s all right.

  3. 30 September, 2015 / 2:34 pm

    I think the nice thing about blogging for me is that it can be whatever you want it to be. Sometimes it’s nice to take a break and you shouldn’t feel that you have to blog, tweet, etc. I’d suggest setting up some automatic stuff. My blog does some automatic stuff on publishing and I use https://ifttt.com/ too.

  4. 30 September, 2015 / 5:28 pm

    Hope things calm down for you and I think it’s healthy you’ve realised things are out of kilter for you on the blogging front. Readdressing it can be very powerful and it also gives you a chance to do stuff which you can later blog about if you fancy it – hope it goes well x

  5. 30 September, 2015 / 6:10 pm

    I’m glad you’ve put yourself first. Everyone is entitled to sick leave and annual leave. I think that’s just hard to remember when you’re your own boss. Look after yourself x

  6. 30 September, 2015 / 7:09 pm

    It is vital that you look after number 1 – because if you don’t, it does all become too much. I’m reaching my burn out at the moment to be honest – I’m fighting through as I know we’re on holiday very soon, and I can spend a few weeks just away from it all without a care in the world. xx

  7. Lauren Tracey
    30 September, 2015 / 8:41 pm

    Completely essential that you make sure to look after you lovely x Sometimes its so easy to forget that x

  8. Eimear
    30 September, 2015 / 10:00 pm

    Sorry to hear about your CFS, that cannot be easy with op your husband away so I admire you, and you’re right a break is good to ee charge and refresh! Welcome back!

  9. 30 September, 2015 / 11:34 pm

    I really admire you having your family with CFS, definitely a hard thing to do hats off to you! Xx

  10. 30 September, 2015 / 11:42 pm

    Good on you for taking time out. It’s something I need to do a bit more, post every other day, so then I can do commenting/promotion on the ‘other’ day, so have some earlier nights and then manage to get up early to exercise!

  11. 1 October, 2015 / 9:26 am

    Well done on taking some time away from blogging and social media, it is SO important that you take care of yourself first. Especially when having children. Look after yourself hun. xx

  12. 1 October, 2015 / 11:01 am

    Hey Hun its so important to take a break if you not longer enjoy it or find it a chore to blog. Ive found it hard recently with my eldest starting school, swimming lessons and the youngest going to nursery. Its all a bit here there and everywhere at the min. Just blog when you want and don’t feel like you have to x

  13. Sarah Golding
    1 October, 2015 / 2:34 pm

    I’ve never heard of CFS before, it must be a struggle with kids and housework and a blog to run. It’s good to take time out for yourself, I’ve found since becoming a mum that my needs quickly went to the bottom of the pile and terrible at doing anything just for me

  14. 1 October, 2015 / 4:03 pm

    I too have taken a backseat from blogging through September. Mainly due to the arrival of my little boy! It has actually been quite nice to disconnect from social media (except to share the odd (ok probably more than just the odd) picture of my new bundle! Kay xxx

  15. 1 October, 2015 / 9:40 pm

    You are dead right to take a step back, they is nothing worse than doing somthing if it feels forced and it sounds like you needed a break in order to appreciate blogging again and you have Cfs which needs managing, you did the right thing taking a break and it sounds like you are enjoying time with the kiddies without worrying about posts and stats

  16. 2 October, 2015 / 7:33 am

    oh sweetie I felt exactly the same last week after my accident. I didn’t pick up my laptop once. I managed to Instagram a bit but not much else. I’m not surprised you need to take a break every now and then with your illness. I have an underactive thyroid which means I’m very tired some of the time so I know how you feel (although I also don’t because I’m not as tired as you at all), but you know what I mean! Like everyone has said to me, we’re not going anywhere so take your time and we will be here to read your posts when you get back into things! Xx

  17. Zena's Suitcase
    2 October, 2015 / 12:18 pm

    I do love blogging, but it is important to take a break from it and just enjoy life. Being in the moment, and not just observing it in a way. I make sure that weekends are family time and I’m looking forward to a much needed holiday. Good to have you back

  18. 2 October, 2015 / 5:18 pm

    You are so right, we bloggers do sometimes allow our online lives to cloud our real lives… I never thought I could be so easily distracted, but I am!

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